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Listed below are several important issues that may affect you or someone you know in your experience in college life.  

knowledge is power - so be informed - stay safe.

 

PACT 5

PACT5 is a national movement to prevent sexual assaults and rapes in colleges.  PACT5 was started by students and faculty in 5 universities: Rowan University (NJ), California State University at Northridge, Western State Colorado University, Northern Illinois University, and Framingham State University (MA).

The 5 universities want other colleges to join them. Want other colleges to Make the PACT to become a safe campus and a source of preventative media that young people, their families, relatives, and friends will listen to.

PACT 5 has produced a series of documentaries that are powerful stories that will hopefully change tragic behavior patterns.  the documentaries are student produced with student actors.  they are important tools for all areas of college life, including orientations, residence life advising, campus police, fraternities, sororities, counseling centers, etc. 

you the student, can make a difference in the minds of other students.  please watch these documentaries - - learn what you can do and how we can make a positive change.

COMMIT, EDUCATE, PREVENT, USE MEDIA, SHOUT OUT 

Visit PACT 5 and the student documentaries here:  http://pact5.org/pact5-documentaries/

These stories are written, produced and acted by students that deal with Sexual Assault at parties, events, Dating Violence, Campus Crime etc. 

 

Domestic abuse affects all of us!

                                            



If you are a victim of Domestic Abuse, please contact the Cheyney Police Department for advice, help and support. Our staff is trained to help you file PFA papers and help you in this situation. Even if you just need to talk, call our police department and speak to one of us. Domestic Violence is very serious and help is there just for the asking!

 

 

                                                 

 

 In Pennsylvania - in the year 2009.....

  180 Domestic Violence fatalities including 7 children and 4 police officers gunned down by the perpetrator. 

 Victims come in all ages.....

 19 year old Gettysburg College student strangled, stabbed and beaten to death by her boyfriend.

  63 year old Haverford woman shot by her husband.

 

 
Domestic abuse is at epidemic proportions.
·         Every day four women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands.
·         Every nine seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted and beaten.
·         Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women.
·         In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are abused at a rate 1,500 percent higher than the national average.
·         Women are most likely to be killed when attempting to leave the abuser. In fact, they're at a 75 percent higher risk than those who stay.
·         A child's exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
These statistics are frightening and they are only some of the statistics. What is also frightening is that abuse still remains to a large degree hidden. The victim stays silent because of fear and shame and the abuser wants his behavior hidden.
Abuse shapes and defines society, the lives of victims, and the lives of abusers. Society has developed an acceptability of abuse. The media, entertainment, and sports industries all reinforce this acceptability. We can more easily address war crimes or assaults in our streets than those same types of crimes perpetrated in our homes.
Statistics gathered from Women's Rural Advocacy Programs, U.S. Department of Justice and National Domestic Violence Hotline

 

 
 
From the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County....
 
 
 

Put an end to dating violence!

What is Dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of violence, threats and/or manipulation used to coerce and control one's partner in a dating relationship. Dating abuse can take many forms.

Here are some examples:

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Yelling, name-calling (especially sexual names), verbal harassment humiliating you in public or private, accusing you of dating others or flirting with others, blaming you for his/her own problems.

PHYSICAL ABUSE: Punching, choking, hair-pulling, slapping, shoving, bending or twisting your fingers, arm twisting, hitting you head against the wall, pushing you into/pulling you out of a car.

SEXUAL ABUSE: Rape, unwanted touching or kissing, forclng you into unwanted sex acts, wanting sex after hitting, refusing to use birth control/protectlon.

FINANCIAL ABUSE: Stealing your money, using your ATM card or credit card without permission, deliberately breaking or damaging your possessions.

Warning Signs

To figure out if you are a victim of dating abuse, ask yourself these questions. Does the person I am dating...

  • Act jealous or possessive?
  • Insist on making all the decisions?
  • Treat me with disrespect (insult me, call me names, order me around)?
  • Blame me (or others) for his/her feelings or actions
  • Pressure me for sex?
  • Use physical force (hit me, restrain me, throw things) to get his/her way?
  • Refuse to accept that I want to break up?
  • Beg for another chance, especially after an outburst?
  • Blame drugs or alcohol for his/her violence?

Remember
You are not alone.
The abuse is not your fault.

Are You Afraid? What If You Want Out?

  • Talk to an adult NOW about staying safe and getting help. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
  • There are people in your school, community and family who can help you.
  • You can also call the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County.
    Toll-free 24-hour hotline number is 1-888-711-6270.
  • Services are free and confidential.The staff is here to help you. They will listen and provide you with information and support.
  • They can also refer you to other appropriate professionals who can help you if you need services not available at their agency.

If you or anyone else is in
immediate physical danger
CALL Cheyney Police at 610-399-2405

 

Safety Planning

Deciding whether to go out...

  • Know about the person who asked you out before you say "yes."
  • If your friends express concern about you going out with this person, take their warnings seriously.
  • If you have any concerns about going out with the person, DON'T GO.

If you decide to go...

  • Stay with or near other people: go to public places, double-date, or hang out with a group
  • Avoid being in an isolated area.
  • Be able to leave on your own: know where there are telephones and exits; have money with you in case you need to use the telephone or call a cab.

If you want to break up with someone who has been abusing you...

  • End the relationship over the telephone, so the abuser can't hurt you.
  • If you must see your former partner, do it in a public place
  • If you are alone at home, do not let the abuser in, no matter what he/she says.
  • Take any threats of violence by an abuse seriously. Don't laugh them off as "impossible" or a "sign of love". Abusers have no limits to what they will do, regardless of the consequences.

Key Points To Remember

  • ANYONE can be a victim of dating violence. Victims (and abusers) come from all age groups, races, classes and backgrounds.
  • Abuse gets worse over time. It may begin with verbal abuse and escalate to physical or sexual assault or other violence.
  • YOU cannot change the abuser. For any change to take place, the abuser must take responsibility for his/her behavior.

What is relationship violence?

Relationship violence is a term that encompasses domestic violence, dating violence, and intimate partner violence. It involves a pattern of behavior in which someone tries to control and exert power over a current or former partner. It can include emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Some common forms of relationship violence include:

1. Telling you that no one else would want you.
2. Being jealous of time you spend with others.
3. Reading your mail, email, and texts.
4. Hitting, shoving, and other forms of physical abuse.
5. Coercing and forcing sexual activity.

How common is relationship violence?

Relationship violence is extremely common. Although much of the focus is on women who experience violence from men, as the majority of people who are abused are women, men can also experience relationship violence and women can be perpetrators.

 

It is important to note that we still do not understand much about men experiencing domestic violence. Social norms emphasize both that men are supposed to be "strong" - and therefore cannot be abused - and that women are supposed to be "weak" - and therefore cannot abuse. There is growing evidence that the number of men experiencing relationship violence is far higher than ever believed.

What if I am in a violent relationship?

Many people who are experiencing relationship violence have been isolated from others by their abuser. You may begin to believe that you deserve the abuse or that the situation is hopeless. This is perfectly normal and natural, but the abuse is NOT your fault. You may recognize some of the behaviors below; these are done in an effort to gain power and control over your life. (Please note that the power and control wheel assumes a "traditional" heterosexual female being abused, but the same actions apply regardless of the sex or gender of the abuser and the abused.)

 

 

If you are experiencing relationship violence:

1. You are not alone. One of the key things an abuser tries to do is isolate you. You are not alone and can seek help from many sources.
2. Finding social support is vital. If you are not comfortable speaking to a friend/family member, or to anyone face to face, you can call the Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County at 610-565-4590 or visit their website at http://dapdc.org/

 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

3. Create a safety plan. You can work with an advocate (such as someone from the Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County), a friend/family member, or on your own to create a safety plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has an excellent resource for safety planning.
4. Remember that you know your relationship best; do not allow others to convince you to go against your instincts about what is safest for you.

It is important to consider reporting the abuse. You can choose to report the assault anonymously or formally. Please visit our Reporting page for more information.
 
An anonymous report should be made to the Cheyney Police Department and to the University Title IX Coordinator. If you choose to make an anonymous report, we will not pressure you in any way to make it a formal report. Anonymous reports of sexual assault, relationship violence, and stalking to the Title IX Coordinator must include your name. Your name is privileged information; the Title IX Coordinator will follow up with you to make sure you are aware of your rights, but will not conduct any investigations if you request that the information go no further.
A formal report can be made if you would like to press charges. You should contact Cheyney Police to make a report.
Reaching out to others and seeking support can be a huge help in recovering from the effects of relationship violence. In addition to contacting a friend or family member for support, consider contacting:

 

 

 

1. The Cheyney Police Department at 610-399-2405

 

2. The Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County at 610-565-4590

 

3.  The Chester County Domestic Violence Center at 610-431-1430

 

 

Volunteers or staff from both the Chester County and Delaware County Domestic Violence Centers can help you with understanding Protection From Abuse Orders if you would like to explore that possibility, as well as in creating a safety plan.

What happens next?

As a result of the abuse, you may find that you need more than the social support of friends or family. This is completely normal and you should not hesitate to seek counseling from others. Contact the Cheyney University Guidance and Counseling Center. You may also find talking to a spiritual leader helpful.
 

What if someone I know is in a violent relationship?

The statistics on the number of people who experience relationship violence are high, especially on college campuses. Odds are that you will know someone during your college career that has experienced relationship violence. That person may ask you for advice or social support. This can be overwhelming, but being supportive often comes down to simply listening to your friend. Here are some tips for supporting someone who has experienced relationship violence.

1. Listen to your friend. Understand that your friend has been made to fill unworthy by the abuse. Simply listening can help rebuild his or her sense of worth.
2. Believe the person - do not question his or her story, simply trust that it is the truth.
3. Trust your friend's instincts and understanding of the relationship. It is not always safe to leave a relationship; provide any support the person asks for, but do not insist the person leave the relationship.
4. Offer to assist your friend with any part of a safety plan he or she creates. This is best done with the help of victim advocates, but if your friend would like help creating a safety plan, the National Domestic Violence Hotline has an excellent resource for safety planning.
5. Give the person the power - don't offer advice, ask how you can help.
6. If the person asks for help, be able to offer sources of support.
a. Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County
b. Domestice Violence Center of Chester County
c. Cheyney University Guidance and Counseling Center
d. Cheyney Police
7. Remain aware of your own needs; if you need to seek help and support, do so.
8. Understand that you may be required by Title IX or Clery to report what you have learned to the Title IX Coordinator. Be honest with your friend about this. Recognize any discomfort you feel about having to report. Your discomfort is completely valid; share it with the person who has talked with you as well.                

 

For THE Kids....

 Things You Can Do To Stay Safe

  Are you a child or teenager living in a home where violence occurs, either between your parents or your brothers and sisters?
 
If you answered yes, you should know that as a child living in an abusive household there are things that you can do to be safe.
You should not get in the middle of a fight between your parents or brothers and sisters, even if they ask you for help. This will not make the fighting stop, and you may get hurt.
If you want to help the abused person ask how or simply dial 911, learn important numbers including family and local emergency agencies, and go over a safety or escape plan with the abused person.
Tips on calling 911: When dialing 911 there are ways to make the response quicker, and to ensure your safety. First tell the operator your name and address, tell them what is going on and where this is happening, and you should tell them if this has happened before.
Before an emergency situation occurs you should know:
·         Your full name
·         Your complete address including city, state and zip code
·         Your entire phone number with area code
·         What situations will lead you to call 911. If domestic violence is occurring in your house, you might want to make up a code word with the abused parent or sibling. If he/she uses that word then you will call 911
During an emergency situation you should know:
·         Dialing 911 can reach police, the fire department or ambulance
·         Try to remain calm
·         When the 911 operator answers, state the problem briefly and give your full name and address
·         Do not hang up the phone until the operator says to
 
 Asking For Help - Asking for help does not mean you are going to get in trouble, but if you do get into trouble call the police again or speak to a trusted adult. Trusted adults can include your teachers, ministers, coaches or family members. If your parents are separated, divorced or never married, the school should know who can and cannot pick you up from school. If the person who is abusive visits your school or tries to remove you, please notify a teacher or the principal. They can help you decide what to do next.
 
If you need someone to talk to, there is help for you at school or somewhere in your community.
 Don't Blame Yourself
As a child living in an abusive home, it’s easy to blame yourself and think that what is going on is your fault. You think "If I would be quieter, better at school, neater, more respectful and so on and so on." Living there, you must know that no matter how hard you try, it does not stop. You are not the problem.
If the abused person or the abuser at some time needs to leave the home for safety reasons, remember again this is not your fault. The abuser in your home has a problem. This person chooses to be violent or controlling. There is help for abusers. This help can come after you call the police or through counseling. The abuser needs to learn that he/she does not have the right to use violence, threats or intimidation to get what he/she wants. Staying may seem dangerous or even stupid to you, but there are reasons and some of them include your safety. Talk to the abused person, talk to a teacher, or call a hotline and make a safety plan. For more help, or someone to talk to please check the links section or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
 
 

A Poem to think about........

Another Woman

 
Today another woman died
and not on a foreign field
and not with a rifle strapped to her back,
and not with a large defense of tanks
rumbling and rolling behind her.
She died without CNN covering her war.
She died without talk of intelligent bombs
and strategic targets
The target was simply her face, her back 
her pregnant belly.
The target was her precious flesh 
that was once composed like music
in her mother’s body and sung 
in the anthem of birth.
The target was this life 
that had lived its own dear wildness,
had been loved and not loved,
had danced and not danced.
A life like yours or mine 
that had stumbled up 
from a beginning
and had learned to walk 
and had learned to read.
and had learned to sing.
Another woman died today.
not far from where you live;
Just there, next door where the tall light
falls across the pavement.
Just there, a few steps away
where you’ve often heard shouting,
Another woman died today.
She was the same girl
her mother used to kiss;
the same child you dreamed 
beside in school.
The same baby her parents 
walked in the night with 
and listened and listened and listened
For her cries even while they slept.
And someone has confused his rage 
with this woman’s only life.
-Carol Geneya Kaplan
 

Stalking information and resources

What is Stalking?

 

Stalking is a crime, even though people sometimes describe it as a joke or just "courting." According to Pennsylvania law, stalking is "engaging in a course of conduct or repeatedly committing acts toward another person, including following the person without proper authority, under circumstances which demonstrate either of the following: an intent to place the person in reasonable fear of bodily injury, or an intent to cause substantial emotional distress to the person." Basically, stalking is a pattern of behavior by someone else that leads you to believe you are in danger or causes you a great deal of emotional distress.

Stalking is not just one type of behavior. It includes a wide range of behaviors that take place both online and in person. Some stalking behaviors include:

1. Repeated phone calls or hang-ups
2. Unwanted text messages or emails
3. Unwanted gifts
4. Using technology, like Facebook or cell phones, to keep track of you
5. Threats to friends and family
6. Showing up where you are
7. Lying about you to other people

With the increase in technology, we are seeing more and more cases of online stalking, also known as cyber stalking.

How common is stalking?

Stalking is quite common, with the number of cases increasing dramatically, especially among young adults.

 

What if I am being stalked?

Many people who are being stalked feel confusion, guilt, and responsibility and try to handle the stalker on their own. This is perfectly normal and natural, but the stalking is NOT your fault.  Please seek assistance in stopping the stalker.

If you are being stalked:

1. Do not try to reason with the stalker. Firmly and clearly tell the stalker that his or her attention is unwanted and leave it at that. 2. Document all instances in which the stalker contacts you, including gifts left for you, text messages, or Facebook messages. Do not delete any text messages, Facebook messages, voicemails, or other electronic messages. Do not, though, respond to the messages.
3. Change your routine behaviors (e.g., take a different route home or eat at a different time).
4. Make sure your online accounts, such as Facebook, are set to private and do not "check in" to any location, as this can tell the stalker where you are.
5. Please consider seeking assistance from University officials and the Cheyney Police Department.

a. If the stalker is a student, take any documentation (copies of emails, messages saved on your phone, etc) to the Office of Student Affairs.
b. If you would like to block the stalker's email address, speak to someone in IT.

It is important to consider reporting the stalking. You can choose to report the assault anonymously or formally. Please visit our Reporting page for more information. The page also explains legal requirements that the University has in reporting stalking.

An anonymous report should be made to Cheyney Police and to the University Title IX Coordinator.  Anonymous reports of sexual assault, relationship violence, and stalking to the Title IX Coordinator must include your name. Your name is privileged information; the Title IX Coordinator will follow up with you to make sure you are aware of your rights, but will not conduct any investigations if you request that the information go no further.

A formal report can be made if you would like to press charges. You should contact Cheyney Police to make a report.
Reaching out to others and seeking support can be a huge help in both stopping the stalking and in overcoming the experience. In addition to contacting a friend or family member for support, consider contacting:
1. The Cheyney University Guidance and Counseling Center and/or Student Affairs
2. Delaware County and/or Chester County Domestic Abuse Centers
3. The Cheyney Police Department 
Volunteers or staff can help you with understanding Protection From Abuse Orders if you would like to explore that possibility.

 

What happens next?

As a result of the stalking, you may find that you need more than the social support of friends or family. This is completely normal and you should not hesitate to seek counseling from others. Chester County and Delaware County Women's Resource Centers and Domestic Abuse Centers can offer assistance as well.  You may also find talking to a spiritual leader helpful.

 

What if someone I know is being stalked?

The statistics on the number of people who experience stalking are high, especially on college campuses. Odds are high that you will know someone during your college career that has been stalked, either physically or online. That person may ask you for advice or social support.  This can be overwhelming, but being supportive often comes down to simply listening to your friend. Here are some tips for supporting someone who has experienced stalking.
1. Remember that stalking is not a joke - or romantic. Stalking is dangerous and should be treated as such.
2. Stalking is usually done by someone you know. Do not encourage your friend to talk to the stalker or offer to serve as a "go-between."
3. Believe the person - do not question his or her story, simply trust that it is the truth.
4. Help the person document any instances of stalking behavior. Keep in mind that you may know the stalker and he or she may pressure you for information about your friend.
5. Give the person the power - don't offer advice, ask how you can help.
6. If the person asks for help, be able to offer sources of support.
a. Cheyney University Guidance and Counseling - Student Affairs
b. Chesco and Delco Women's Resource Centers and Domestic Abuse Centers
c. The Cheyney Police Department
 
7. Remain aware of your own needs; if you need to seek help and support, do so.
8. Understand that you may be required by Title IX or Clery to report what you have learned to the Title IX Coordinator. Be honest with your friend about this. Recognize any discomfort you feel about having to report. Your discomfort is completely valid; share it with the person who has talked with you as well.

 

Where can I go to learn more?

 

National Institute of Justice Stalking Resources

Stalking Awareness Month Website

Stalkinghelp.org

Stalking Resource Center

United States Department of Justice Stalking Resources

 

 


Stop stalking image from http://fayetteadvocate.com/archives/6876/2013/01/17/january-is-stalking-awareness-month/

Stalking stats image from http://calvcp.blogspot.com/2013/01/bringing-awareness-to-prevalence-and.html